The hardest week

We all know the first week of any change in eating habits (I don't like the word diet) is the hardest week. You go from eating anything and everything under the sun, to being consciously aware of what you put in your mouth and eventually obsessing about it. This has always been my biggest hurdle, constantly thinking about food.

I've attempted to rejoin Weight Watchers probably 4 times in the last two years. I'll do well for a few weeks and next you thing you know, I'm back to my old habits. And that's if I make it past day three.

This week on day three, I faltered. I had nachos full of cheese, meat, beans and sour cream. Oh, was there sour cream! Let's be honest, you can't put this (Not) Skinny Bitch in front of cheese and sour cream and not expect inappropriate things to happen. I at those nachos like it was my job.

It's something I always do. I falter, feel bad about my decision, ditch my plan, and never look back. Except this time, I knew it was different. Because I didn't feel bad. I enjoyed the hell out dinner, had a great time hanging out with great friends, played with my god kids, and didn't feel bad. I DIDN'T FEEL BAD.

It was that moment I've been waiting my entire adult life for. The moment where I knew I'd finally overcame my food obsession. I don't know if it's because I finally decided to put my foot down and say enough is enough or if it's because I have a different perspective than I've had before. The perspective that this isn't a diet; it's a lifestyle change. Bad days are going to happen and bad decisions are likely to accompany those days.

But, tomorrow is a new day. And for that, I am thankful.