Oh baby

Well since I am the knocked up one of the group I thought I would take the time to write about gaining weight instead of losing it. It has been 8 years since I was pregnant with my oldest son and it has it been a world of difference the second time around.

See I fell into the trap of "I'm eating for 2" and "the baby wants that food, it's not for me." Needless to say this lead to me gaining quite a bit of weight. A lot actually....... 85 pounds. (Please note this is the first time I have ever been honest about how much I actually gained and wow was that hard!) I would eat whatever I wanted and however much I felt I deserved. I mean I was a sacred vessel bringing life into this world damn it, I earned it! So why wouldn't I eat the whole bag of chips, followed by the cookies and a chaser of frosting. And exercise well I counted all those trips from the couch to the kitchen and back again as my only exercise. Oh and my house had stairs so that totally counted too right? Also I was in a very unhappy marriage and wasn't getting the support and comfort that is necessary with all those scary hormones running rampant. I was unhappy with my how my body looked and how huge I let myself get.

This time was a complete turn around. For starters I had worked very hard to get in the best shape I have ever been in before getting pregnant. Okay granted it was for my upcoming wedding and I honestly didn't think I would get pregnant on the first try but that's a whole other story!

I am proud to say that at the end of my pregnancy I have gained 27 pounds. I have made smart food choices (for the most part, there may have been a few Cadbury Mini Egg incidents) and have maintained a walking schedule that I had approved by my doctor. Also I have had the support of my amazing and wonderful husband and friends. During this pregnancy I have loved the way I look, I feel beautiful (most days, again those damn hormones really don't get any better with each pregnancy) and have learned to embrace my belly.

But it hasn't been easy. I still have a constant battle with myself when I get on the scale. Also I am still learning how to tune certain people out who only hinder me and add to my weight/food issues. But I also know I have the support of 5 amazing ladies this time who are going to be by my side every step of the way. I know that I will get back to the size I was, but I'm not in any rush. The health of my baby boy and myself are more important than anything else.

**The picture was taken on 5/26/11**

The hardest week

We all know the first week of any change in eating habits (I don't like the word diet) is the hardest week. You go from eating anything and everything under the sun, to being consciously aware of what you put in your mouth and eventually obsessing about it. This has always been my biggest hurdle, constantly thinking about food.

I've attempted to rejoin Weight Watchers probably 4 times in the last two years. I'll do well for a few weeks and next you thing you know, I'm back to my old habits. And that's if I make it past day three.

This week on day three, I faltered. I had nachos full of cheese, meat, beans and sour cream. Oh, was there sour cream! Let's be honest, you can't put this (Not) Skinny Bitch in front of cheese and sour cream and not expect inappropriate things to happen. I at those nachos like it was my job.

It's something I always do. I falter, feel bad about my decision, ditch my plan, and never look back. Except this time, I knew it was different. Because I didn't feel bad. I enjoyed the hell out dinner, had a great time hanging out with great friends, played with my god kids, and didn't feel bad. I DIDN'T FEEL BAD.

It was that moment I've been waiting my entire adult life for. The moment where I knew I'd finally overcame my food obsession. I don't know if it's because I finally decided to put my foot down and say enough is enough or if it's because I have a different perspective than I've had before. The perspective that this isn't a diet; it's a lifestyle change. Bad days are going to happen and bad decisions are likely to accompany those days.

But, tomorrow is a new day. And for that, I am thankful.

Here goes nothin!

If you know me, you know that I've struggled with my weight since probably junior high.  I was never one of the skinny girls who could eat whatever they wanted and not gain a pound.  I was ALWAYS jealous of those girls.  And is it wrong that I'm friends with some of them on Facebook now and love that some of them are fat now? ;)  Oops, did I say that out loud?  I've just always been overweight and it bugs me.  I'll admit, my eating habits were far from healthy.  Fast food for breakfast a couple days a week.  Full fat lattes a couple times a week.  Pizza for dinner a couple times a week.  You get my drift. 

Well, times they are a changin'.  I started on this weight loss journey (yet again) last Thursday and I'm proud and ecstatic to say I've lost 4 pounds already!  Woot!  So, I'm down to 194.  I can't tell you how happy I was when I stepped on the scale this morning. 

I hate to say this for fear of jinxing myself, but it's been kinda easy.  I've been using the Lose It app on my iPhone and entering everything I'm eating.  My daily calorie allowance is around 1,500 calories.  Sometimes I meet that, but most of the days I'm eating around 1,300.  Who knew you could eat healthy foods and feel satisfied and actually lose weight?  What a concept, right?  I'm hoping to lose about 10 more pounds and then incorporate some exercise program into the mix.  I want to become comfortable with my new way of eating first.  Baby steps, people.

I'm so happy to join these lovely ladies who I've become friends with on Twitter.  Watch out world, the {not}skinny bitches are here! 

So ladies, who wants to meet in Vegas when we all get hot(ter)?!

xoxo,
Anna